Misfit

I attended a conference a few weeks ago when one of the speakers used just one slide – a picture from the movie ‘Misfits.’

The general premise of his entire talk was that he felt he probably was something of a misfit himself, but that he was always fascinated and inspired by those people he termed ‘misfits.’

That label was something he gave them because, well they were people who didn’t fit nicely under any of the labels that others wanted to put them under.

And right away I loved it.

I think I did so because I’ve never viewed myself as having been in a box, which is why I’ve never liked the idea of ‘thinking outside the box.’

I mean, apart from an escapologist, who would ever want to be thinking inside a box anyway?

I love the idea that it is okay to be continually looking for something new, an adventure; to know that along the long path on the search for happiness you’ll make mistakes; to realise that is what life really is all about anyway.

But at the core of it all, I believed the message was that misfits are still passionate and driven and irrespective of their search for that new adventure, they will always give of their best to the job they have at hand.

For them life is not boring. Work is not meaningless and they know that when it comes to motivation they will need to generate that themselves on a daily basis

So they do – most no doubt unaware of the old German saying that goes – “You’ll have to take life as it happens, but you should try to make it happen the way you want to take it.”

And there is great wisdom in that.

We can fall into line. Tick the box. Wear the label – but we should only do that if that is what we want for ourselves.

After all, it is what we do with our life that will determine whether we view it as an adventure or as drudgery.

But just remember, it is never too late to change. And it is ok to be a misfit!

Use your talents and astound yourself!

During the week I was fortunate enough to be able to attend stunning theatre performances, not once but twice and I came away filled with total admiration for those who had whisked me away to a world of imagination.

 

Hot on the heels of attending a fabulous production of Waiting for Godot in An Grianan Theatre, Letterkenny on Tuesday night, I was in Cork on Friday evening for Performance Platform 2 – a series of one person performances.

 

I think it was during the three performances by Anna Rose Hennessy, Katie Porter and Maggie Donovan that I began to realise what power there really can be when talent is used to its full potential.

 

I was reminded of a quote I had read once from an American musician called Lawrence Welk who said:

 

“To be granted some kind of usable talent and to be able to use it to the fullest extent of which you are capable – this, to me, is a kind of joy that is almost unequaled.”

 

He might have well just have written that on Friday night.

 

The three performances, which all lasted roughly half an hour and followed immediately after each other – were completely different in terms of theme, content and delivery.

 

All three were emotionally charged and over the course of the night the audience went from laughter to tears, joy to anguish, almost every emotion was tapped into.

 

What I really noticed though was how, within just one or two sentences, each of the three performers, starting in three completely different fashions, had managed to captivate their audience.

 

They commanded the audience attention, controlled the silence, prompted the laughter and manipulated the mood.

 

They were amazing.

 

As clips of all three performances replayed through my head and I recalled how all four shows I saw this week had ended with well-deserved standing ovations, I began to wonder how many of us ever really use the talents we have to their fullest?

 

Do we spend so much time bemoaning our weaknesses that we fail to play to our strengths? Do we not realise that we are all created with the equal ability to become unequal?

 

I mean, we all have different talents, gifts and abilities. We have different traits and personalities and yet, by using what we have to the fullest, we can stand out from the crowd.

 

Thomas Edison once said that if we did all the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.

 

Have you astounded yourself recently?

 

Acting on potential

For most of the past week I was listening to stories from businesses and realising that those who make a success of things in life, really are those who not only see the potential in something – but actually act on that potential as well.

 

There is no doubt that it takes resilience and determination and sheer downright grit sometimes, because life is not easy and you have to work at it to make the most from the time you have.

 

Of all the many brilliant gems of wisdom I picked up over the week, I think that idea of having to work hard to try to fulfill potential, is one that stuck with me.

 

I’ve listened to speakers tell their story and realised that, perhaps even unknown to themselves, they were people who understood that all development is self-development.

 

They appeared as speakers last week because they deserved to be there. Even though some of them may well underestimate their own brilliance, growth is an individual project and the crowd will always stand back to let a winner shine through.

 

From the first day to the last, I listened to people who had not only desire, but who also had the willingness to prepare and the drive to take action.

 

The preparation I believe, was that these were people who were always willing to learn, to read, to listen, to expand their thinking, to be open to new experiences.

 

And in doing so they were training their minds and bodies to enjoy the privilege of success.

 

Yes, they were aware of risks, but they didn’t let fear hold them back.

 

They understood that anyone with the desire to grow and the willingness to prepare for that, must then accept the responsibility to take action, because only then could they tap into their true potential.

 

Before the week had even begun, I had been challenged to write a poem based on a painting that depicted sail boats tied up safely in a marina as the sun was setting.

 

The waters were calm and the boats were all at rest, but as I looked at the picture all I could see was unfulfilled potential.

 

All I could think on was of all the adventures, the highs and lows those boats would miss out on if they stayed forever in that safe place.

 

It’s easy to stay in the safe place longer than we should sometimes. We get comfortable there and we find reasons to stay, even when we know we should go.

 

We may have the desire for something better.

 

But desire alone is not enough and without the hard work and action to match that desire, life will have passed us by and we’ll be left with nothing but handfuls of what ifs and regrets.

 

Sailboats and sunsets

 

Take time sometimes,

to enjoy your safe place;

to watch the sunset,

to feel the calm.

But, tempting as it may be,

do not tie yourself

to that safe spot forever.

You were never meant to be

always anchored down,

huddling, hiding away;

skimming the surface

with unfulfilled potential.

You were born to be brave.

To seek waves of new adventure.

To feel the wind in your sails,

and watch a team of white horses

gallop over the tides

as you steer to new horizons.

 

(Liam Porter 2018)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The power to grow

Over the past few weeks I’ve had the chance to revisit a collaborative project I had worked on a while back, that will be launched soon as a book.

 

The project – of which I am extremely proud – charts the stories of six ordinary businesses in Donegal who just roll up their sleeves and get on with it.

 

As the fine tuning took place before the book went to print, I got a chance to remind myself just how fascinating each of the stories is – and just how determined each of these businesses has been to succeed.

 

It’s been quite a while since I have felt as enthused about stories I have listened to and then tried to capture in words, but these tales of resilience and persistence are truly inspirational.

 

As I thought about them over the past week I was reminded of a piece I had read once about the fish known as Koi or Japanese carp.

 

The story stood out for me because it explained that if you were to keep Koi in a small fish bowl, it would grow only to one or two inches in size.

 

In a larger tank or small pond it could reach up to ten inches, but found in a lake where it can really grow and stretch, it can reach sizes of up to three feet.

 

The story was used to emphasise how the size of the Koi is directly in relation to the size of the pond.

 

As people we can so easily allow ourselves to be like the Koi and our growth can well depend on the opportunities we expose ourselves to.

 

It would seem that quite a lot of people never realise that unless they expand who they are, they will always have what they’ve got.

 

That reminded me of another story from a while back when I had helped someone with some presentations for an interview they were preparing for.

 

A new role had come up in the organisation the person was working for and not only did the person I helped throw their hat into the ring, but they also caused quite a stir by landing the position.

 

There had been many applicants, including one who had been with the organisation for many years, and upset at the outcome, that person went to ask for feedback on why a relative newcomer had been given the position over somebody with 22 years of experience.

 

The answer given was that they did not have 22 years of experience – they had one year of experience, 22 times.

 

That can easily happen to any of us if we let it – life can become habitual rather than experiential, but if you really want to grow remember that the magic always happens outside the comfort zone.

Mark Twain summed it up as simply this – “Do something every day, that you don’t want to do.”

 

The six businesses featured in this soon to be published book, never sat a day on their hands waiting for things to happen.

 

They instead follow the philosophy of pushing themselves out as far as they can go, knowing that when they get that far, they’ll be able to see even further.

 

They have undying commitment to exceed themselves.

 

But the question to ask yourself now is – have you?

Time to give

At this time of year, for quite a number of years now, I have helped out one of the busiest people around by writing a few letters of reply to some boys and girls for him.

No money has ever changed hands for this, I have written the notes in the hope that they would bring a little bit of joy and happiness.

And, despite all the stress and pressure that people sometimes will put themselves under around the festive season, the reality is that it is often just small little things that can bring some of the greatest joy.

While there are undoubtedly people around who are motivated by a love of material things, it has been my experience that most people would be happier to have those they care about spend time with them, than money on them.

That’s not to say that you should not appreciate gifts – big or small – that people give, or should decide never to buy any either because there can be real joy in both giving and receiving.

But that is something that we should remember to bring with us into the rest of the year as well.

To do something beyond what is expected, to go that extra mile – just because it is a good thing to do.

It’s the difference between good and excellent service and it is usually those small extra things that stand out and make a real impression.

Heading towards a new year it is well worth keeping in mind, but for now enjoy all the giving and receiving that comes with the Christmas season.

Teamwork makes the dream work

Over the past week I was thinking a bit about teamwork and how great teams can so often go on to accomplish so much.

 

 

As a sports coach who works primarily with young players, one of the key messages I would always have tried to ingrain in them, is the importance of the team.

 

Yes, it is important for individuals to develop and grow and get better, but in so many cases it is when the individual focuses on self and not the team, that things begin to fall apart.

 

While I have always preferred team sports because I was never an outstanding athlete in my own right, I love and have so much admiration for the discipline and determination that athletes who compete in individual sports have to master.

 

But what I think many people fail to recognise is that those in a team environment need to show the same type of discipline and determination.

 

The only difference really is that the goal a team is working towards is not a set of individual targets, it has to be a common team goal.

 

Andrew Carnegie summed it brilliantly when he said:

“Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.”

 

That’s a saying that applies in real life, in work, in community, just as well as it does in sport.

 

As part of a team, I have discovered that my talents, combined with the talents of others will often make a formidable combination.

 

As a youth sports coach I often find that people mistake my emphasis on development over results, as if I don’t really care about winning.

 

They couldn’t be further from the truth. I always want to win. That is always the goal – but to try to get there I would rather my team lose and give 80% of excellence than win with 120% of just adequate.

 

In developing young players, I genuinely believe it isn’t about getting the results at any cost. It isn’t about cutting corners, for me it is always about the learning curve for them – and the ultimate pursuit of excellence.

 

That is no different away from sport and in work I am of the opinion that, as Ed Sullivan once said – if you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because the joy you get from that is a spiritual cure.

 

It never should be just about getting the job done. It should be doing the job to the very best of your ability. About doing work that you can be proud of.

 

When you set that as your standard then you realise that the pursuit of excellence is a way of life.

 

It includes going beyond the call of duty, stretching our limits and holding ourselves responsible for being our best.

 

And when you have a whole team working with that kind of a philosophy, well then that’s when you start to see really fruitful results.

 

In the past week I’ve been lucky enough to have witnessed that in both a work setting and in community and I’ve realised that when you are part of a team with a shared vision, drive and determination, it really can be something special.

 

Or, as I would often say to the youngsters I coach.

 

Teamwork, really does make the dream work.

 

 

 

 

 

Jump on the boat when it comes…

I was asked during the week what I am going to do next year and the honest answer was – I don’t really know.

While there are several possible opportunities on the horizon, there is also a chance that none of them at all will actually transfer into something positive for me.

When I thought about that for a while, I realised how important it is to remain positive and to carry the self-belief that, if those opportunities do not work out, others will come instead and I just have to try to make the most of them.

Making the most of them is hugely important, but it’s also imperative that I don’t sit around waiting for the ‘perfect opportunity’ and then realise though inaction, that I may have actually already let it slip by.

I was reminded of a story I heard years ago about a flood that swept through a town causing widespread devastation.

The flood waters were rising steadily and as they began to seep into houses, a rescue boat pulled up outside a house where a man was standing on the ground floor watching the water rise higher and higer and begin to seep under the door.

When asked by the rescue workers to hop in the boat, the man replied that he was ok, he would be safe and that he had great faith in God and God would save him.

The waters continued to rise and the man had to move upstairs where he watched from a bedroom window as another rescue boat pulled up and offered to take him to a safe place.

Again he turned down the offer, saying he would be fine and that God would save him.

The waters kept rising and the man eventually had to climb onto the roof of the house where, after a short while a rescue helicopter spotted him, offered to winch him away, and again he refused, saying God would save him.

An hour later the man had drowned in the rising waters and when he reached heaven he was a bit peeved and asked God why he hadn’t saved him?

To which God replied: “I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you want from me?”

To me that story has always been one that says, when opportunities arise then go ahead and try to take them if you can.

Don’t wait until you are ‘ready’ because how do you even know if you are if you don’t try?

Of course nobody knows how things will ever pan out, but waiting around and doing nothing, thinking that everything will somehow come good by magic, is not the way to go.

Jump on the boat when it comes and enjoy the voyage of discovery it takes you on.

Because the only thing worse than wishing for opportunities, is wishing you hadn’t missed the boat when one had come your way…

The storm will always pass…

Sometimes it takes a little push to get you out of the comfort zone, but sure isn’t that where the magic really happens.

 

I was thinking on this earlier this week when I was at a training day and listening to the words of a super speaker explain some of his own story as a prelude to the work he began with the group.

 

At one point he mentioned the fact that years ago he would never have pictured that he would be standing in front of a group talking as he was.

 

That would have been way beyond his comfort zone, being a quiet kinda guy.

 

And yet, here he was – all these years later, doing just that.

 

A lot of that he said, came down to the influence of many mentors he had met and learned from over the years.

 

As he spoke of them I started to think on some of those who had influenced me on my journey over the years.

 

Some of those immediately sprung to mind and played no small part in the fact that I was even there at all on that day, starting out on this new voyage of discovery.

 

And then we had roleplay.

 

I knew it was coming and in the past I’d have tried to crawl under the table just not to have to be in the spotlight.

 

But, when the trainer looked for volunteers, I said I’d do it.

 

I had no clue how it would go. To be honest, I was dreading it, but in the end it was fine although I will not be reserving any spots on the mantlepiece for an Oscar or anything.

 

The training itself will push me to do new things. Make me face new challenges and I know there will be parts of it that I will dread, until they are done that is – and then I’ll be glad I have them under my belt.

 

It was like that indeed the very next day. The tables were turned and I was now the guy at the top of the room delivering the training.

 

If anything I may well have been an even less likely person to be in front of a group speaking – yet here I was and not for the first time either – doing just that.

 

The night before and again during preparation in the morning as I set up the presentation, I had to prepare myself to step up – mostly by reminding myself that I had nothing to fear and that I could do this.

 

Had to remind myself that I have weathered worse storms – far worse – and then found the calm to just go ahead and get it done.

 

And there is a lesson in that for everyone – because sometimes we build things up so far in our minds that we let in so many drops of doubt we flood our own heads.

 

But we should remember not to let the storm clouds win.

 

No matter how bad they seem – they will always pass.

Don’t wait..

I used to joke that I was going to join the procrastinator’s society, but I’d do it tomorrow.

 

Everybody puts things off at times. Sometimes they have good reason, but a lot of the time it is because they just don’t want to face up to the task in hand.

 

Check any filing basket in any office and you will see the stuff that continuously gets shuffled to the bottom of the deck.

 

And the problem with that is, sometimes things that should get done, don’t get done and the consequences are often worse than just dealing with the task in the first place.

 

John F Kennedy once said: “There are risks and costs to a programme of action. But they are far less than the long range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.”

 

Now, I’d never claim to be any kind of a DIY expert, but finding myself home alone on Saturday last, I scribbled down a list of tasks around the house that I’d put off for a while and I made a plan to get through as many of them as I could.

 

One task in particular was something that had been niggling at me for ages. A blocked drainpipe that I knew would need investigation, but which honestly I feared would require calling in a plumber to fix.

 

It was the worst job on the list, so it was the one I decided, needed to be tackled first.

 

Now, I am all in favour of calling in experts when a task is beyond me, but I also know that now more than ever, there is a wealth of information to be found that I can use to help me make that call.

 

And so, after some online research I realised that there was one simple investigation I could make in the pipe network that could resolve the problem – but if it wasn’t that, then the expert would be required.

 

It was a simple fix though and with that task safely out of the way, I powered through the rest of the list because there was no dreaded ‘worst task’ on the end of it anymore.

 

What I realised from all of this is that, instead of procrastination you just have to make the right decision to move forward – because, the reality is, when you hold on thinking it’s all going to somehow magically come good – well.

 

I was reminded of a piece I once read about a college professor who spoke to his class:

 

“Suppose,” he said, “you had five birds sitting on a wire and three of them decided to fly. How many birds would you have left on the wire?”

 

He asked them all to write down their answer and when they had done so, proceeded to explain that the correct answer was that five birds remain.

Making a decision to fly without acting on the decision, was a waste of energy.

 

The momentum to do something about our decisions is energised by action.

 

And because tomorrow will not always come, the time to act, is now.

 

Out of hiding…

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about hiding. Or, perhaps more correctly, about why I should make sure that I’m not always doing it.

 

Yet, it’s easy to hide. To find something safe and somewhat comfortable and even if it’s not where you actually want to be – you know that where you want to get to, means being out there in the big bad world.

Maybe, you don’t even know where you want to get to. But you know that too means casting off the safety net and taking steps into the unknown.

Through my work and through my hobbies, I am absolutely privileged beyond doubt to meet amazing people every single day.

Often, I get to tell the stories of these real-life, genuine heroes and heroines and I’m truly in awe of them.

I think they’d laugh at the idea of that. And yet, I hear their stories or in many cases see their story unfold and I know these are truly outstanding people.

Ordinary folk for sure, but they are brilliant people doing fantastic things.

Yet, some of them I would say are hiding.

Some of them have a safe place now and the 100 reasons why they should not leave is pouring cold water on the one burning a hole in them every day telling them why they should.

And I get that. I get the idea of safety and security and I also get that it is also not easy to put yourself out front and centre, if that is far from your comfort zone.

Trust me. I am an introvert by nature, sneaking into the corner away from the spotlight is my default setting.

But I’ve also learned that when you are in that corner, your head can easily fill with doubts and before you know it, you somehow think that you are less.

And then the excuses sneak in and all of a sudden the world and its mother are to blame for all of your woes.

I was thinking on this during the week, when I heard photographer Jay Doherty talk of how he had gone about setting up his business.

If it failed, he said, it was down to him. Nobody else would be to blame, but it didn’t stop him from going for it anyway.

As I drove home that night, my head started processing some of the stories I had written, heard and witnessed of the people around me in recent weeks and months.

When I thought on something else Jay had said that night: embrace every new experience as part of the adventure, I remembered that one of my own poems had suggested you need to get beyond the edge of the comfort zone for the magic to happen.

Another poem sprung to mind then, a reminder to forget comparisons and remember what a brilliant person you really are.

For me, all of that was a reminder to stop hiding behind excuses and to make a start on getting on with stuff I’d procrastinated over.

Who knows where any of that’s going to lead me, but sure isn’t that all part of the adventure?