It will bring you joy…

I attended a volunteer workshop during the week and one of the questions was simply this – why do people volunteer?

 

And it got me thinking – not so much about why I volunteer because I know – but more about why I never have tried to explain it others?

 

In many ways, it all comes down to one word – joy.

 

In a world that tries to grind us down, there can be little doubt that, when it all comes down to it, we only ever really want to be healthy and happy.

 

And I have learned over the years that happiness is not a possession that we should spend all our time searching for, but rather it is a blessing in everything we experience.

 

In this blog a few years ago, I outlined how a truly difficult time for me had prompted my 365 day poem-a-day challenge a few years ago and the book that subsequently spanned from that.

 

The credits of the book, saw me thank several groups I have volunteered with and at the end there is a line that simply reads – “a special word is reserved for everyone involved with Raphoe Town Football Club for their ongoing terrific work.”

 

It was only a line, but it could so easily have been a page, because, when I started to really think about it, I began to understand that being part of that club for so many years made me feel as if I had something valuable to contribute. That I was worthwhile.

 

It’s the wonderful thing about being a volunteer – especially when you volunteer in a club with young people. They bring you happiness.

 

Yes, they’d make you want to tear your hair out in frustration some days – but because the young people are not worn down by the weight of the world, nor do they have any real understanding of all the troubles adults heap on their own shoulders – by and large they will bring untold happiness into your life.

 

Being around them teaches you to understand that you are a role model – that your life should be a living example of what you speak.

 

If you want your players to be calm and relaxed, then you should be too. If you want your players to understand that it’s okay to make mistakes, then it is good to acknowledge to them that you will make mistakes too. That you are all learning together.

 

You learn that people will believe what we do, long before the messages we preach – and if the young players want and expect their coach to be a pleasant, fun and happy person who encourages and respects them – then you learn to get good at that.

 

When you manage to teach yourself to leave the weight of the world in the car when you head out onto the pitch for training or match days – you begin to realise that you can leave it down when you choose to – that worry is something you don’t have to carry always.

 

Albert Einstein once said:

 

“Only a life worth living for others is worth living.”

 

After years of volunteering, I truly and genuinely believe this to be true.

 

I have had the great honour of watching so many young players grow into fine men and women who make immense contributions to their families and communities.

 

I have been privileged to sit, long years after I’d coached them, with players who didn’t have to, but still came to see me or meet me for a chat.

 

And all of this reinforces my belief that the most valuable gift we can ever give, is a portion of ourselves.

 

Because, when we do so, we will find happiness.

 

And happiness, is the point.

 

 

I was reminded of these poems from my book, the first one a reminder of how happy and care free children are.

 

The Happy Children

 

Driving by, I saw them.

 

They were playing in the schoolyard

without a care in the world.

 

So I turned off the radio news

and drove on….

 

Smiling.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When the world smiles…

I have written many times before of how I have discovered one of the key ways to have a happy and fulfilling life, is to to surround yourself with positive people.

 

The type of people for whom every obstacle is one to be overcome – those who understand that mountains are meant to be climbed, not carried.

 

But I also realise that – because they take things in their stride, because they are people of action, not just intent, many times they are the very people who very often don’t understand what an amazing and powerful influence they actually are.

 

At the weekend I got to spend time in the company of many such people from all over the country at the Volunteer Ireland Awards. People who give freely of their time to make the world we live in a better place. And it was fantastic.

 

More so, I have to admit, because, Sinead, the volunteer I had nominated was recognised not just as a short-listed finalist from over 500 nominees, but also because her hard-work and sheer dedication meant she was actually awarded the top prize in her category.

 

Sinead and her husband Emmett (another magnificent volunteer at our club) pictured at the Volunteer Ireland Awards after Sinead had won the prize for best Volunteer in the Sports Category.

 

I’ve been around sports teams for a long time and have witnessed and celebrated many wonderful team successes, but as moments go – those few precious seconds after her name was called out – will be hard to top.

 

That’s because the spectacular team successes are always preceded by unspectacular preparation. The hours, upon hours of work in the background – often by volunteers – that goes, most often without notice and quite often without those who are doing it, understanding the immense value of every second they are giving.

 

Almost a year ago to the day, I posted on this blog on why we should remember to prize ourselves. At the time I wrote:

 

“Having spent a good part of this week in reflecting on strengths and weaknesses, I realised that when you’ve grown up with the old adage ‘self praise is no praise,’ you can sometimes concentrate far too much on perceived weaknesses.

 

And the problem with that is, you then can so easily become – not what you think you are – but instead what you think others think you are.

 

We have to keep reminded of the fact that, if we put ourselves in a position where whoever is most convincing has the greatest impact on how we see ourselves – then it’s important that the most convincing people we place ourselves around, are people who want only to help us bring out the best in ourselves.”

 

On more than one occasion over recent years, Sinead had been one person to remind me of my own self-worth, of the valuable contribution I can make, highlighting my point from the outset – of the importance of being around positive people.

 

Nominating her was in large part to thank and praise her for mountains of unstinting work, but also in small part to thank her for words of encouragement that she might never even have realised she had given.

 

She has not been alone in that respect, so while these were individual awards, Sinead’s win was also a victory for the entire team of outstanding volunteers who keep our club going from week to week, year to year and do so with unstinting dedication.

 

Like a true volunteer, unaccustomed to the spotlight, she thought exactly the same when she posted:

 

“Our club has so many great people working continually to help it grow and move forward. Raphoe Town FC is in the heart of our community and it is the people in it – from the youngest kids up to seniors, parents and coaches – that make what we all do together worthwhile.”

 

Of course she heaped praise and thanks on her family too, because without the support and understanding of family, volunteers simply could never make the contribution they do.

 

But when they do give that support and understanding  – when family values community and community becomes family – then the world truly is a better place.

 

A glance around the room on Friday night at all those volunteers was a clear indication that people willing to invest themselves will improve the quality of their life as well as the world around them.

 

Communities fortunate enough to have committed people will excel.

 

The world cannot help but smile on the efforts of dedicated, hard-earned successes.

 

And on Friday night our community had great reason to smile…

 

I was reminded of this poem from my book when we were at the awards on Friday night.

 

More than my shoes

 

Do not judge me

by my shoes,

for I am a spirited soul,

and shuffle easily

to different comforts.

 

I am an athlete,

motivator,

accomplisher, team-player;

worker, daughter,

sister, mother.

 

I am a neighbour,

a dancer,

chief organiser;

snapper and smiler

helper and friend.

 

All these and still

Belle of the Ball.

 

I am never, ever,

about defeat.

 

 

Don’t shift the goalposts…

A few years ago now, it was around this stage of the year that I made a decision to post a poem on my blog for every single day of the year that would follow.

 

Once I had done that, I had given myself, not just a goal – but a purpose – and in doing so I opened up my entire being to a world of living and new possibilities.

 

I was thinking about this a few times during the week, as I try to shift my head towards, not just new goals – but new-found purpose for the future.

 

One of the first things that sprung to mind was how easily people discard goals, move the goalposts – so to speak – and often that is all down to their own excuses and  inaction.

 

Coming from years of working in newspapers, I find it baffling how deadlines don’t seem to mean the same in other aspects of life.

 

How easily things that are supposed to be done by a certain time, seem to get pushed back time and again in the tizziness of priorities.

 

When I was posting the poem a day, I knew I had a deadline of midnight to meet – every single day.

 

Once I had gone past midnight, the entire purpose of what I was trying to do would be gone – so, irrespective of what else I was doing, that deadline was always the priority if I was to meet my goal – and keep my purpose.

 

But, for many, instead of sticking to deadlines, they become just guidelines and as a result things begin to drift and all of a sudden it’s like that scene in the Willy Wonka movie where Charlie and his Grandpa think they are floating blissfully in the bubbles – until suddenly things spiral out of control and they get sucked towards the giant fan.

 

Being busy is great – it far outweighs being idle – but without remembering what your purpose is, you will lose sight of even the closest of your goals.

 

And I was thinking on that during the week as I read with great admiration a post from Roger Holmes who – days after I launched my book – called to buy a copy from me, told me how me had admired how I had stuck to my task and then talked to me about plans he had to cycle across America.

 

He saw those amazing plans through as well and I’ve followed his adventures online knowing that by setting and sticking to his goals, he has found a real purpose in his life.

 

A day or two before I read this post, Roger contacted me to see if it would be ok if he read a poem I had written for him when he came home from his cycling adventure at a work event he was hosting in New York.

 

Naturally, I was delighted that he’d even want to do so and for some reason was reminded of a saying from Carl Jung, I’d read while doing my own 365 challenge – “as far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.”

 

I am always moved and deeply humbled when people tell me they find inspiration, comfort or meaning in words that I’ve written, especially when they themselves are inspirational people who have worked out that quality of life does not happen by chance – who understand that a fulfilling life begins with searching for and clarifying our reason for living – our life’s purpose.

 

Roger is one such person and his online post during the week was this:

“When I reached New York after cycling alone across America, I made a promise to myself: continue to take on challenges and adventures, develop a 3 year plan to grow a business called In8 Motivation…and stick to it no matter what obstacles I would encounter. My plan, as I visualized it, was to work as a Motivation/Wellness Coach in New York City. To make that happen, I initially worked in a raft of part time casual jobs. I’ve moved furniture, mowed lawns, painted fences, served food, tried real estate, construction, building services and considered Uber and anything else that would bring in a dollar. In New York, they call that ‘hustling’. But I did it with an overall goal in mind.”

 

Amidst all the bustle of existing, of doing any and everything, of managing his time to make a dollar or two – because he had found purpose, Roger knew exactly what his goal was and he stuck to his task.

 

At lunch on Friday, I was asked:

 

“What’s one thing you are going to do next year, that you always wanted to, or said you were always going to do?”

 

Have I already thought on goals for the year ahead?

 

Do I have targets and deadlines in mind?

 

You bet I do and I know that it’s going to take action from me if I am to get there.

 

So…what goals have you set?

 

 

Magic

 

Hope for better,

but do not sit waiting

for some fairytale finish

to grant all your desires.

 

Instead, grow to understand,

that you already hold –

the key to happiness,

in your own hand.

 

You are the product

of your own choices.

Captain of your ship.

Master of your destiny.

 

Dream of more,

but drive yourself forward.

The magic you yearn for

is already inside.

 

 

(Liam Porter 2018)