Forging success from adversity

When fate throws a dagger at you, there are only two ways to catch it, either by the blade, or by the handle.

 

That saying and its message came to mind to me a few days ago. Especially the fact, that when adversity does come our way, we really should catch it by the handle and use it as a tool to carve out success.

 

Of course, if you are in the face of adversity right now, that all sounds so simple and perhaps a million miles from where you might see yourself at this moment.

 

And yet, there is great truth in the message that adversity is an experience, not a final act.

 

I was reminded of that last weekend, when I sat to watch the Tommy Tiernan Show on RTÉ and saw his interview with the hugely inspirational James Leonard.

 

In the interview, James spoke of his time as a drug addict, of being homeless and in prison and yet deep down inside he said he knew he had more potential than all of that. Somehow, he managed to find his way to discovering it.

 

And that’s the thing.

 

If you can somehow keep in mind that wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, whatever misfortune you have suffered, there is still light inside you to shine for the world.

 

If you keep believing you can find it, then all of these troubles will become experiences that will grow an unstoppable force within you.

 

A verse I learned once, put it brilliantly:

 

Looking back, it seems to me

All the grief, which had to be,

Left me when the pain was o’er

Richer than I’d been before.

 

For some reason, remembering that poem reminded me also of the Gerard Manley Hopkins poem Felix Randal, mostly because of the last lines and the image of him working at the forge.

 

When I was at secondary school I remember the first day we were shown how to work on the forge.

 

We all watched as our teacher got the temperature of the forge up and then placed a piece of iron into the intense heat, until it changed colour and was almost translucent.

 

Then, removing it from the forge to the anvil, he took the hammer to the metal made pliable by the heat.

 

Again and again the process was repeated until the final shape was achieved and the hot metal was suddenly cooled in water. The sudden change tempered the iron, giving it durability and strength.

 

It was the combination of all these things – the heat, the beating with the hammer, the water – that fused to develop a strength that could be achieved in no other way.

 

I’ve no doubt that we would all love to enjoy a trouble-free life, but big or small, there is no doubt that troubles of some kind will come our way.

 

It is how we react to them that’s important.

 

Adversity can be a springboard for change.

 

Those setbacks might just even be, the open door for you to finally shine that light of yours to the world.

 

 

Forged like that

 

When your life

like iron,

gets battered.

Beaten down.

 

Consumed in

the heat of moment

or the cold, terrifying

chill of consuming fear.

 

Press pause then

and see. That

all these experiences

are just how you are forged.

 

They are what have

made you.

 

Robust and resilient.

Durable and determined.

 

When your life

gets battered.

 

Beaten down.

 

Remember you are.

 

Forged like iron.

 

Stronger than you think.

 

(Liam Porter 2020)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Acting on potential

For most of the past week I was listening to stories from businesses and realising that those who make a success of things in life, really are those who not only see the potential in something – but actually act on that potential as well.

 

There is no doubt that it takes resilience and determination and sheer downright grit sometimes, because life is not easy and you have to work at it to make the most from the time you have.

 

Of all the many brilliant gems of wisdom I picked up over the week, I think that idea of having to work hard to try to fulfill potential, is one that stuck with me.

 

I’ve listened to speakers tell their story and realised that, perhaps even unknown to themselves, they were people who understood that all development is self-development.

 

They appeared as speakers last week because they deserved to be there. Even though some of them may well underestimate their own brilliance, growth is an individual project and the crowd will always stand back to let a winner shine through.

 

From the first day to the last, I listened to people who had not only desire, but who also had the willingness to prepare and the drive to take action.

 

The preparation I believe, was that these were people who were always willing to learn, to read, to listen, to expand their thinking, to be open to new experiences.

 

And in doing so they were training their minds and bodies to enjoy the privilege of success.

 

Yes, they were aware of risks, but they didn’t let fear hold them back.

 

They understood that anyone with the desire to grow and the willingness to prepare for that, must then accept the responsibility to take action, because only then could they tap into their true potential.

 

Before the week had even begun, I had been challenged to write a poem based on a painting that depicted sail boats tied up safely in a marina as the sun was setting.

 

The waters were calm and the boats were all at rest, but as I looked at the picture all I could see was unfulfilled potential.

 

All I could think on was of all the adventures, the highs and lows those boats would miss out on if they stayed forever in that safe place.

 

It’s easy to stay in the safe place longer than we should sometimes. We get comfortable there and we find reasons to stay, even when we know we should go.

 

We may have the desire for something better.

 

But desire alone is not enough and without the hard work and action to match that desire, life will have passed us by and we’ll be left with nothing but handfuls of what ifs and regrets.

 

Sailboats and sunsets

 

Take time sometimes,

to enjoy your safe place;

to watch the sunset,

to feel the calm.

But, tempting as it may be,

do not tie yourself

to that safe spot forever.

You were never meant to be

always anchored down,

huddling, hiding away;

skimming the surface

with unfulfilled potential.

You were born to be brave.

To seek waves of new adventure.

To feel the wind in your sails,

and watch a team of white horses

gallop over the tides

as you steer to new horizons.

 

(Liam Porter 2018)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t be afraid to fail

I sat up late last weekend to watch the Superbowl, hoping that the Philadelphia Eagles would win – and they did.

Now I must admit that while I love sports, I am not by any stretch of the imagination an expert on American Football, but I understand it enough to enjoy the game.

 

I have family and friends in Philadelphia and have visited there many times over the past 25 years so I follow the Eagles and was excited at the prospect of them possibly winning their first ever Superbowl this year.

 

That excitement, I must admit, was heightened by a visit to Philadelphia at Christmas and as the play-offs began, I was tuned in from many miles away hoping that the Eagles would fly.

 

What I really loved about their journey to victory though, was just how the team as a group overcame being written off time and again.

 

Even though their record did not merit it, the Eagles went into their play-off games as underdogs – something the team used to their advantage.

 

An injury to Quarterback Carson Wentz just before Christmas meant that the Eagles would go into the games with back-up Quarterback Nick Foles in the hot seat as it were.

 

According to the experts, Nick Foles was not up to the task and because of that, they surmised, not only would the Eagles not fly, they would be pulled unceremoniously to the ground.

 

Of course the experts were wrong and as I watched as my family celebrated by attending the victory parades in the City of Brotherly Love this week, I pondered on the strength of attitude it took for the Eagles and for Nick Foles in particular over the past few months.

 

I was reminded of a story I heard once of a man who went to Vegas for a conference but drawn by the lights and the glitz, decided he would spend a while just having a look at the action on the casino floor.

 

Soon he decided he would have a go and placed a two dollar bet on the roulette wheel that landed on red and gave him a win. He tried again and won and continued to do so until he had suddenly amassed $20,000 in winnings.

 

At that stage he felt he should quit while he was ahead and left the table, but temptation got the better of him and he tried one for the road as it were, bet the lot and lost it all.

 

When he got back to his hotel room his wife asked if he had been betting and if so – how it had gone?

And the man replied – “It was ok, I only lost $2.”

 

Now I believe that take on the evening was a positive one and the story came back to me when I read the quotes from Nick Foles after Sunday’s game when he said the big thing is: don’t be afraid to fail.

 

I guess that is what positive people do. They keep success and failure in perspective.

 

In fact, they are less likely to even use the words failure and more likely to say things like experience or challenge or setback.

 

Nike Foles who was named Most Valuable Player (MVP) in the Eagles play-off game, followed that up with a stunning MVP display in the Superbowl final when all the focus was on how he would match up to multi Superbowl Winning Quarterback Tom Brady.

Afterwards he said these words:

“You know, failure is a part of life. It’s a part of building character and growing. Without failure, who would you be? I wouldn’t be up here if I hadn’t fallen thousands of times. Made mistakes. We all are human, we all have weaknesses…I think when you look at a struggle in your life, just know that’s just an opportunity for your character to grow. And that’s really just been the message. Simple. If something’s going on in your life and you’re struggling? Embrace it. Because you’re growing.”

 

And he is right.

 

With the right attitude, all the setbacks in the world will not make you a failure.

 

After all ability is what you are capable of, motivation determines what you do, but it is your attitude that will determine how well you do it.

 

The question to ask then is. How’s your attitude been?

 

And, are you afraid to fail?

 

 

 

Believe to achieve

I got a text today from my brother who, as it turns out, lives on the other side of the world.

As the texts flew over and back he responded to a reply of mine that was filled with some self-doubt, by quoting the following lines.

“This is not a time for resting on your laurels, or for dreaming with closed eyes. Because your dreams are all ahead of you. Get up and follow them.”

They were lines he said, that recently a friend had sent to him as words of encouragement.

Of course I recognised them as lines from one of the poems in my book ‘Dance in the Rain’ and it was a reminder to me that we often can make a much bigger impact than we might imagine.

As it turns out over the past few weeks I also have had some out of the blue messages from people who explained how much they liked some of the pieces I have written.

And that is such a compliment it is difficult to describe what an immensely positive impact it made at a time, when I admit I was beginning to question again.

I suppose everyone has times in their life when their self-belief is not at its highest.

I guess for some people, those moments come more frequently than they do for others.

So I have come to understand that when those moments of self-doubt do come along, it is important to take on board the words of encouragement and support of those who offer it.

But on their own, they are not enough because, at the end of the day it still involves action on your part.

While I was in the gym this week training I repeatedly read the words written on the wall in front of me – “I think I can, so I will.”

It’s a simple message really, but one that sums up perfectly how important it is for us to match any kind of support and encouragement we might get, with a huge dollop of our own self-belief.

I was reminded of a story I read once about an American baseball team who had been on an amazing run when all of a sudden they hit a slump and as the losing run continued the players began to believe they were somehow jinxed.

Searching for inspiration their coach heard about a preacher who was drawing huge crowds every night and who was reportedly so good that he could perform miracles.

The coach grabbed every baseball bat the team owned, trekked out to hear the preacher with the bats in a wheelbarrow and when he returned he told the players that the bats had all been blessed by the preacher.

Believing their bats now to be blessed, the players were inspired on the field once more and went on to win the championship.

Blessed bats? The players believed they were and therefore believed in themselves once more.

A reminder to us all that we unless we believe we are capable the results will never reflect our capabilities.

Prize yourself.

I was reminded this week of one of Aesop’s fables about a deer and a hunter.

 

The gist of the story is that there once was a deer who was admiring his reflection in a pool.

 

“Ah,” he said, “where could you see such noble antlers as these? I wish I had legs worthy to bear such a glorious crown. It is a pity they are so slim and unsightly.”

 

Just then a hunter appeared and fired an arrow at the deer, but the very nimble legs that he had just been complaining about, bounded the deer away to safety and out of range of the hunter.

 

I was thinking on the story as I pondered how the deer, at first seemed to be looking for his best qualities, but in doing so, somehow managed to dwell on what he perceived was his weakness – even if, as it turned out, it wasn’t a weakness at all.

 

Having spent a good part of this week in reflecting on strengths and weaknesses, I realised that when you’ve grown up with the old adage ‘self praise is no praise,’ you can sometimes concentrate far too much on the perceived weaknesses.

 

And the problem with that is, you then can so easily become, not what you think you are – but instead what you think others think you are.

 

 

We can let what we think others think of us, have an undue influence on our lives. And for want of a better way of explaining it, we can make ourselves into a cinderella figure.

 

Instead of believing we’re as perfectly entitled to a ticket the dance as the next person, we look at how we think they see us, and let it impact on our personal view of our own value.

 

We don’t seem to take a step back often enough to see that those facts have little to do with reality.

 

So we have to keep reminded of the fact that, if we put ourselves in a position where whoever is most convincing has the greatest impact on how we see ourselves – then it’s important that the most convincing people we place ourselves around, are people who want only to help us bring out the best in us.

 

In the middle of the week, I was reminded of the joy I had felt a few years ago when I had stepped out of my comfort zone to dance in the fundraiser for the local school.

 

I recalled the positivity that had come from that, the friendships formed, of the fact that it had kept me on a path where I have since then been surrounded by so many positive and encouraging people.

 

It was also a good reminder to myself – and advice I’d offer anyone – that I should prize myself; build on my strengths; stop tearing myself down or dwelling on weaknesses; don’t compare myself to other people or compare what I am to what I think I should be.

 

As I pondered that fable, I did still figure that my legs were probably just as slim and unsightly as the deer’s.

 

But you know what?

 

I have also reminded myself to celebrate who I am.

 

Because I’ve been to the dance before.

 

And, as it turned out, my legs were nimble enough too…

Out of hiding…

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about hiding. Or, perhaps more correctly, about why I should make sure that I’m not always doing it.

 

Yet, it’s easy to hide. To find something safe and somewhat comfortable and even if it’s not where you actually want to be – you know that where you want to get to, means being out there in the big bad world.

Maybe, you don’t even know where you want to get to. But you know that too means casting off the safety net and taking steps into the unknown.

Through my work and through my hobbies, I am absolutely privileged beyond doubt to meet amazing people every single day.

Often, I get to tell the stories of these real-life, genuine heroes and heroines and I’m truly in awe of them.

I think they’d laugh at the idea of that. And yet, I hear their stories or in many cases see their story unfold and I know these are truly outstanding people.

Ordinary folk for sure, but they are brilliant people doing fantastic things.

Yet, some of them I would say are hiding.

Some of them have a safe place now and the 100 reasons why they should not leave is pouring cold water on the one burning a hole in them every day telling them why they should.

And I get that. I get the idea of safety and security and I also get that it is also not easy to put yourself out front and centre, if that is far from your comfort zone.

Trust me. I am an introvert by nature, sneaking into the corner away from the spotlight is my default setting.

But I’ve also learned that when you are in that corner, your head can easily fill with doubts and before you know it, you somehow think that you are less.

And then the excuses sneak in and all of a sudden the world and its mother are to blame for all of your woes.

I was thinking on this during the week, when I heard photographer Jay Doherty talk of how he had gone about setting up his business.

If it failed, he said, it was down to him. Nobody else would be to blame, but it didn’t stop him from going for it anyway.

As I drove home that night, my head started processing some of the stories I had written, heard and witnessed of the people around me in recent weeks and months.

When I thought on something else Jay had said that night: embrace every new experience as part of the adventure, I remembered that one of my own poems had suggested you need to get beyond the edge of the comfort zone for the magic to happen.

Another poem sprung to mind then, a reminder to forget comparisons and remember what a brilliant person you really are.

For me, all of that was a reminder to stop hiding behind excuses and to make a start on getting on with stuff I’d procrastinated over.

Who knows where any of that’s going to lead me, but sure isn’t that all part of the adventure?