Highlighting the positives…

One of the key pieces of advice I try to remind myself often is that people can only use their strengths to excel, not their limitations.

 

As someone involved in coaching young players, that’s an important consideration to keep in mind, because once there is fear and insecurity and an attitude of “I can’t do,’ then it it becomes increasingly difficult to overcome any weakness.

 

But that is not just something that applies to youngsters, or to sports – and as adults it is important to understand the value of being with people who can see past any self-perceived weakness to highlight strengths.

 

A speaker I heard once suggested we should approach people as if they had a sticker on their forehead that says “make me feel important about me.’

 

His premise was simple – that in general, people react well to positivity and that, as a result of feeling better about themselves, productivity follows.

 

It’s easy to try and zone in and focus in on somebody’s faults – but anyone who has spent any sort of time in self-reflection should realise that it’s very likely that a person not only knows (or perceives) their weakness – they also magnify it in their own head way beyond reality.

 

As they try to stumble and climb and try to work their way past these obstacles, there is nothing quite like the steps and leg-up that supportive, positive and deserved praise can bring.

 

Ralph Waldo Emerson summed it up superbly when he said:

 

“Our chief want in life is someone who shall make us do what we can. This is the service of a friend. With him we are easily great.”

 

This is not to suggest we should try to change what people are, but a reminder that we should try to help them develop what they have.

 

Because when we want to get the best from someone, we must look first for the best that is in them.

 

 

 

Morning

 

I woke with the dawn, but was still too late

to catch my dreams.

 

They had fallen through my sleep,

slipped away in the darkness.

 

But you showed me how

to look again.

 

To see what they had left me.

 

Another morning’s light.

 

A day of endless possibilities.

 

Liam Porter November 2016

Between dog and wolf

While doing some research a while back, I came across the wonderful French saying – L’heure entre chien et loup – that I had never heard before.

 

The meaning – ‘the hour between dog and wolf’ – derives from that period of semi-darkness, twilight as it were, when it would be difficult to distinguish at first glance between a dog and a wolf.

 

It is a wonderfully ambiguous phrase to describe a feeling of uncertainty.

 

That feeling of unease where safety is at risk, the possibility that facing down the threat may be the only option.

 

All the time it is a sense of being in-between, and with that there is always the hope that a new dawn will cast a new light on things.

 

The wonderful weather of the past few days – and the nights of half light that came with them – brought the phrase back to mind and was perfectly timed.

 

Sometimes over the past few weeks, I’ve found myself in L’heure entre chien et loup, but until I remembered the phrase, I had forgotten how important it is to focus on positives.

 

Mark Twain once wrote that “Courage is the master of fear, not the absence of fear” and I recalled once offering words of advice to a young sports player that achievers are resolute in their goals and driven by determination.

 

For them, discouragement is temporary and obstacles are there to be overcome.

 

Even at its darkest, the hour between dog and wolf is just a single moment in time.

 

It will always be followed by the light.

 

Sunny days

 

When the sunny days came,

we wallowed in warmth.

 

And, for a while; everything

was brighter.

 

In the evenings,

we threw out our arms.

 

A vain attempt. To stop

the dark from falling.

 

Sometimes, then,

the sky was painted.

 

Broad fluffy strokes

of red and orange.

 

Sometimes it left us

between dog and wolf.

 

With just a feint hint of stars.

 

And hope for more.

 

(Liam Porter 2019)