Kind words are the music of the world. They have a power that seems to be beyond natural causes, as though some angel’s song had just lost its way and come back to earth.
Anyone who has been on social media over the past few days will have seen how many posts there have been about the need to be kind.
They are almost an inevitable response nowadays to any tragedy where online abuse is viewed to have possibly played some part.
It is good that people share reminders to be kind, but it would be even better if we could remember to actually practice it.
The advances in technology and the ubiquitous nature of social media has fostered a culture where it is easy to hide behind a keyboard.
It is almost as if, those who choose to do so, feel protected by the screen or the distance – as if they believe what they type is worthy of being aired but never think on the impact on those their words are aimed at.
Stopping to think is the key.
Before making that post, before sending that e.mail, take a minute to stop and think on the possible impact.
And, if what you are about to write is not true or not something you’d say to somebody’s face – then you should simply not post it.
The same goes for wide, sweeping generalisations, made without any thought, often under the guise of ‘I have the freedom of speech.’
In recent days for instance, it was interesting to see comments such as “all journalists are scumbags,” by people who in the same post were extolling the virtues of being nicer to people online.
Tara Flynn who has unfortunately been one of many to suffer online wrath, describes brilliantly what it is like to be in the centre of the storm in her recent blog post simply called Storm.
“What’s it like, being at the centre of a storm? It’s like this. Like when a wave rushes in and knocks you down, sucks you in, deprives you of your breath, tumbles you til you don’t know which is earth or sky, then spits you out again.”
“Don’t blame individuals, blame the press.” Oh yes, oh yes. But individuals read. Individuals share. It is a toxic eco-system. Social media creates a storm, the press reports, the socials share the report and on we go. And somewhere, at the centre of the wave, is someone drowning.”
I have long been an advocate for the idea of sharing kindness, but I also feel that we must make much more effort to step away from the keyboards as often as we can and actually talk to people.
And the thing is, when we talk to people (even those we disagree with) we also have the opportunity to listen.
We still don’t need to agree with everyone, but it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t listen to them.
In fact, I think we should listen twice as much as we talk. It is after all, why we have two ears and only one mouth!
Talking on the phone is still better than electronic communication, but it is when we get face to face with somebody that we can really listen to them, see their face, notice their passion, their sadness, their disappointment, hear their tone.
We can try then to get a far better understanding of how they feel, where they are coming from – and that’s something we can’t get from reading characters on a screen.
The irony of the fact that I am sharing this link via social media is not lost on me, but I am not saying we need to abandon these new tools, we just need to use them better – and for good.
After all, kindness can build on itself just as much as hatred or nastiness can.
But it will only ever do that through action, not just intention.
The right time for kindness.
Set your standards high.
Enough to know exactly
when it is time
to use those superpowers
of kindness and generosity.
To offer help,
without preconditions.
Show compassion.
Understanding.
Thoughtfulness.
To be content knowing
that often the very best
of what you give,
will mostly go unseen
but never unfelt.
To realise the impact
of good deeds.
And comprehend that
the right time for
kindness,
is exactly…
Always.
(Liam Porter 2019)
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