Forging success from adversity

When fate throws a dagger at you, there are only two ways to catch it, either by the blade, or by the handle.

 

That saying and its message came to mind to me a few days ago. Especially the fact, that when adversity does come our way, we really should catch it by the handle and use it as a tool to carve out success.

 

Of course, if you are in the face of adversity right now, that all sounds so simple and perhaps a million miles from where you might see yourself at this moment.

 

And yet, there is great truth in the message that adversity is an experience, not a final act.

 

I was reminded of that last weekend, when I sat to watch the Tommy Tiernan Show on RTÉ and saw his interview with the hugely inspirational James Leonard.

 

In the interview, James spoke of his time as a drug addict, of being homeless and in prison and yet deep down inside he said he knew he had more potential than all of that. Somehow, he managed to find his way to discovering it.

 

And that’s the thing.

 

If you can somehow keep in mind that wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, whatever misfortune you have suffered, there is still light inside you to shine for the world.

 

If you keep believing you can find it, then all of these troubles will become experiences that will grow an unstoppable force within you.

 

A verse I learned once, put it brilliantly:

 

Looking back, it seems to me

All the grief, which had to be,

Left me when the pain was o’er

Richer than I’d been before.

 

For some reason, remembering that poem reminded me also of the Gerard Manley Hopkins poem Felix Randal, mostly because of the last lines and the image of him working at the forge.

 

When I was at secondary school I remember the first day we were shown how to work on the forge.

 

We all watched as our teacher got the temperature of the forge up and then placed a piece of iron into the intense heat, until it changed colour and was almost translucent.

 

Then, removing it from the forge to the anvil, he took the hammer to the metal made pliable by the heat.

 

Again and again the process was repeated until the final shape was achieved and the hot metal was suddenly cooled in water. The sudden change tempered the iron, giving it durability and strength.

 

It was the combination of all these things – the heat, the beating with the hammer, the water – that fused to develop a strength that could be achieved in no other way.

 

I’ve no doubt that we would all love to enjoy a trouble-free life, but big or small, there is no doubt that troubles of some kind will come our way.

 

It is how we react to them that’s important.

 

Adversity can be a springboard for change.

 

Those setbacks might just even be, the open door for you to finally shine that light of yours to the world.

 

 

Forged like that

 

When your life

like iron,

gets battered.

Beaten down.

 

Consumed in

the heat of moment

or the cold, terrifying

chill of consuming fear.

 

Press pause then

and see. That

all these experiences

are just how you are forged.

 

They are what have

made you.

 

Robust and resilient.

Durable and determined.

 

When your life

gets battered.

 

Beaten down.

 

Remember you are.

 

Forged like iron.

 

Stronger than you think.

 

(Liam Porter 2020)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Failure and rejection…

For a while now I’ve been thinking a lot about failure and rejection. Indeed, it was while watching young lads play football when I was away on holiday recently, that I began to understand the importance sport has played in helping me deal with both.

 

None of us like to admit to being a failure, it’s almost as if you don’t succeed at something right away you should destroy all the evidence that showed you tried.

 

But what we need to remember is that failure is a natural consequence of trying and those who never fail, have never tried anything worth failing at.

 

When I played sports, my team didn’t always win. I didn’t score from every shot, from every free-kick or penalty I ever took (not that I got to take many).

 

I definitely made mistakes that led to goals scored against my team, sometimes they even meant our team lost important matches.

 

But none of them ever made me want to quit playing. In fact, I still jump at the chance if I ever get the opportunity to play.

 

Of course, when I was playing, I didn’t always start a game either.

 

Nobody wants to be on the bench, to wait for the chance to play – yet as a coach now and with the benefit of hindsight – having an understanding that a coach often chooses what he thinks is best for the team in particular circumstances, reminded me that not being chosen, is not necessarily a reflection on ability.

 

I was even reminded of a time from my playing days, when I went to a tournament with my college team having never missed a game all season, only to find myself on the bench for the first game.

 

I sat for every game of the tournament, virtually kicking every ball, cheering on my team mates and never letting my disappointment show and then, on the eve of the final, the coach unexpectedly told me I would be starting.

 

Of that final, I remember very little, apart from how nervous I was and how inside the first few minutes I tried a risky pass that was intercepted and allowed their forward a clear run in on goal. Somehow I managed to get back, make a saving tackle and never put a foot wrong for the rest of the game, which we won.

 

As I thought on all of this recently I realised that whatever sense of rejection I was feeling recently, whatever failures in myself I was perceiving, these were all things I had experienced and overcome before – albeit in different circumstances.

 

Nevertheless, it was important for me to remember that I would only really lose if I quit trying and while it might seem to the world that amazing achievements just happen for people, what the public rarely gets to see are the failures that precede achievement.

 

All of this was once again a simple self-reminder to get up again when down, to understand that because one door closes, it doesn’t mean that every one will.

 

The simple fact remains that what we desire, will often require unquenchable spirit, drive and energy beyond what we think at times is possible.

 

It usually will also take undying commitment and all of these conditions for success begin and end with one predominant quality – perseverance.

 

We must expect to fail time and again before accomplishing anything worthwhile.

 

So long as we are willing to view it that way and learn, every time we do is just another learning step on the road to success.

 

The right road

 

Sometimes the road

we think is ours,

turns out not to be.

 

So it gives us

unexpected twists;

unforeseen bumps.

 

Leads us rapidly

down dead ends,

takes us nowhere.

 

It is then we need

calm reflection.

Patience, perseverance.

 

To understand

the need to always

keep on going.

 

To be forever aware

that so long as we

never, ever, give up.

 

We will always,

in the end,

find the right road.

 

For us.

 

(Liam Porter 2019)

 

 

A time to grow…

Over the past week, I’ve been thinking a lot about growth. About the determination it takes to inch forward all the time, ever slowly moving to places where there are always new and exciting possibilities on the horizon.

 

These thoughts, I have to admit, were largely inspired by watching both my daughters graduate college this week.

 

In doing so both finished top of their class and were awarded prizes by their respective colleges and it is difficult to put into words the feeling of pride in what they have achieved.

 

But I also know that these accomplishments came through sheer hard work and determination on their part.

 

The realisation that the pursuit of excellence is an ongoing experience that means a person must be prepared to sacrifice easier options to stay on the path to success.

 

The uncanny wisdom of Aesop’s fables summed it up perfectly in the story of the goose and the golden egg.

 

That story tells of a farmer who finds a shiny, glittering yellow egg in the nest of the goose and at first is convinced it must be some trick and is ready to throw it away.

 

But he stops for a second, thinks and then takes it home to discover to his delight that it is indeed made of gold. Each day he gathers an egg from the nest of the goose and becomes rich beyond his wildest dreams – but then greed and impatience sets in.

 

Thinking he can get all the gold the goose can offer at once, he kills the goose and opens her to find nothing.

 

What that story tells us is that growth is an ongoing journey of ups and downs, successes and failures, opportunities, progress and change.

 

To think that it can all be attained in one fell swoop is wrong and can result in losing the fortune amassed through the daily activities that make up the process of growing.

 

I once read somewhere that the largest room in the world, is the room for improvement and I am convinced that in realising that, you learn to always strive for better.

 

In his book ‘Peak Performers’ Charles Garfield wrote:

 

“Searching for the peak performer within yourself has one basic meaning: You recognise yourself as a person who was born, not as a peak performer, but as a learner. With the capacity to grow, change and reach for the highest possibilities of human nature, you regard yourself as a person in process.”

 

Watching my daughters move onward in their life journey, reminded me though that we are all on our own journey still and we all have the potential to continue growing.

 

We are accountable for our own lives, responsible for what we are now, where we want to go and what we will become – because ultimately, everything – peace of mind, well-being, happiness and growth will came as a result of our own decisions.

 

It’s up to us to choose wisely. And when we don’t – to learn from those mistakes and go again.

 

 

I Wish For You

 

I wish for you

never to be afraid

to stay on the road

that lets you

follow your dreams.

 

To set your sights high

and to take whatever

chances you need

to get there.

 

To take flight

filled with desire

daring and determination.

 

And to keep that.

 

Always.

 

 

What do you choose?

In Greek mythology there is a story told about King Sisyphus, a sinner condemned to an eternity of rolling a boulder up a hill then watching it roll back down again.

 

For some reason the story came to mind during the week when I was in London at the Harry Potter Studio Tour and read a quote on the way in.

 

The hallway had several super quotes but for me the ones that really stood out were lines of wisdom attributed to Albus Dumbledore including one that said:

 

“It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”

 

Later in the week at a work event in Letterkenny, photographer Jay Doherty added more words of wisdom when he spoke to an audience of largely creative businesses.

 

His words though ring true for everyone, for while he said it is great to follow your dream, it will only ever be successful and give you any real satisfaction if you are prepared to work hard at it.

 

Combining Jay’s words with that quote I saw at the Harry Potter tour I reflected on how many people I know who express dissatisfaction at their job to such an extent that they may as well be King Sisyphus, rolling that boulder up a hill every day, because every day is a repeat of the last.

 

I’m not referring here to those who have ambitions for themselves beyond what they are currently doing – but who in the meantime give their 100% to the task in hand.

 

Instead I pondered on those for whom the only real work enjoyment comes at break time, home time, holiday time and pay day.

 

On those with qualifications and letters after their names that are sometimes longer than their actual names, but still don’t give everything they can to their j.o.b.

 

I was told once that the secret to happiness, success, satisfaction and fulfillment in our work, is not necessarily in just doing what one likes – but more importantly in liking what one does.

 

In other words, the self-esteem, satisfaction and fulfillment you get from your work depends on you.

 

Our choices show more than our abilities, if we are not prepared to choose to work hard, how can we expect success to come?

 

The wonderful Art Linkletter summed it up perfectly when he said.

 

“Do a little more than you are paid to;

Give a little more than you have to;

Try a little harder than you want to;

Aim a little higher than you think possible.”

 

 

It’s not always easy to keep giving of your best, but if satisfaction is what you crave, that hard work and constant commitment to a pursuit of excellence is the only way forward.

 

So, do you do your best even when you least feel like working?

 

Or do you choose the monotony of pushing a boulder up a hill?

 

 

Use your talents and astound yourself!

During the week I was fortunate enough to be able to attend stunning theatre performances, not once but twice and I came away filled with total admiration for those who had whisked me away to a world of imagination.

 

Hot on the heels of attending a fabulous production of Waiting for Godot in An Grianan Theatre, Letterkenny on Tuesday night, I was in Cork on Friday evening for Performance Platform 2 – a series of one person performances.

 

I think it was during the three performances by Anna Rose Hennessy, Katie Porter and Maggie Donovan that I began to realise what power there really can be when talent is used to its full potential.

 

I was reminded of a quote I had read once from an American musician called Lawrence Welk who said:

 

“To be granted some kind of usable talent and to be able to use it to the fullest extent of which you are capable – this, to me, is a kind of joy that is almost unequaled.”

 

He might have well just have written that on Friday night.

 

The three performances, which all lasted roughly half an hour and followed immediately after each other – were completely different in terms of theme, content and delivery.

 

All three were emotionally charged and over the course of the night the audience went from laughter to tears, joy to anguish, almost every emotion was tapped into.

 

What I really noticed though was how, within just one or two sentences, each of the three performers, starting in three completely different fashions, had managed to captivate their audience.

 

They commanded the audience attention, controlled the silence, prompted the laughter and manipulated the mood.

 

They were amazing.

 

As clips of all three performances replayed through my head and I recalled how all four shows I saw this week had ended with well-deserved standing ovations, I began to wonder how many of us ever really use the talents we have to their fullest?

 

Do we spend so much time bemoaning our weaknesses that we fail to play to our strengths? Do we not realise that we are all created with the equal ability to become unequal?

 

I mean, we all have different talents, gifts and abilities. We have different traits and personalities and yet, by using what we have to the fullest, we can stand out from the crowd.

 

Thomas Edison once said that if we did all the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.

 

Have you astounded yourself recently?

 

Resolve to stick to your resolutions

If you are to believe the articles that commonly circulate at this time of year, somewhere between 80% and 90% of resolutions made for the new year, will fail.

To be honest, I’m not all that surprised, if anything I’d be surprised if anywhere near as many as 20% succeeded – and that is coming from someone who has, in the past, actually managed to see what was quite a testing resolution out to the end.

One of the things that I do recall from that time is that when I posted about my aim of putting a poem on my blog every day for a year, I got a message within minutes suggesting to me that – it had been tried before and wasn’t successful and I’d do well to get to the end of one month.

I have no doubt that, whatever your resolution might happen to be, there are likely to be people out there who, for one reason or another, will want you to fail.

Whether your goal is wanting to lose weight, eat healthier foods, drink less alcohol, cut back on sugar, quit smoking….(I’m just listing off a few of the common resolutions I can think on here but they can be any goals) there is a good chance that someone who should be supporting you in your endeavors, will actually be quite happy if you fail miserably in them.

My feeling is when that happens is that your determination to progress, to do something to make your life better, often highlights a failure in their own life and rather than do anything to try to rectify that, they would instead prefer you to fail so they can feel better about themselves.

It was interesting that my only real negative comment came from a person I did not know too well, but who had read my online tweet about the plan to post a poem a day. Interesting because I had deliberately chosen to post online and tell people about my plan.

That way I felt that I was making myself accountable and the further the challenge went into the year, I can say without doubt that the support and encouragement I got from people who had been following my progress, helped me make it to the finish line.

I liked that I was holding myself accountable but I’ve also said many times since, that while my resolution was one that had an ambitious goal of completing a year of poems, it was only manageable because it could be done in small steps – just one poem every day.

Not that I am in any way qualified to advise on such matters, but if I was being asked, I would suggest resolutions that might have a longer term goal, but for which you can have mini targets to aim for along the way.

After that, stick to your plan. There will always be things to try to knock you off course, but ultimately you will decide whether or not you are going to give up.

Maybe I’ve finally gathered some semblance of wisdom with age, but I do think that resolutions are a good idea – and best thing of all you can start them any time of the year, it doesn’t have to be New Year.

So, if you are looking ahead to 2018 with new goals and aspirations, I say good for you.

Enjoy the anticipation of every tomorrow the year brings.

Ultimate Survivor

“You have extraordinary power within you to overcome life’s difficult challenges.” – Lailah Gifty Akita

As I look at the rain battering against the window today, there is part of me wondering why I’ve signed up for this? By this, I mean the 5k Mud Run called ‘Ultimate Survivor’ that is just my latest challenge. It is one I need to get myself ready to take part in tomorrow morning.

I was thinking about the whole survivor thing recently when, following my last blog post I saw a tweet that had the hash tag ‘survivor’ (#survivor) after my name.

To be honest, I had never really thought of myself as a survivor, but I suppose when I sat down to think about it, I am in many ways.

By the same token, I’d hasten to add then, so is everyone else.

We’re pretty much all survivors in one way or another, it’s just that we don’t always realise that we are. If you are here today you are a survivor, it’s just that, well we’re somehow conditioned not to think that way.

Dealing with businesses in Donegal over the past couple of years I have heard stories time and again of how hard it is for them to survive.

And yet, many of them have done that, week after week, month after month, year after year, some doing more than just surviving. Some really thriving and growing too.

Sadly some of the businesses haven’t and yet it doesn’t mean the people involved should in any way be classed as failures.

That’s a mindset that we really need to get away from because the reality is, more often than not these are the very people who will get up and go again.

People who will not just sit around waiting, but who are willing to embrace the fear, try something new and just keep on going.

These are the people who truly understand that we learn more from our mistakes than our triumphs, people who continually take up the gauntlet and set about their very next challenge.

They know that being a survivor is difficult, that there will be obstacles and mishaps and stumbles along the way. But as long as they can get up again and inch forward then they are always going the right way.

Sometimes, all that’s needed to get someone moving again is a few words of encouragement. Sometimes they need a hand. Sometimes they just need to change their mindset and then drag themselves onwards.

That change of mindset can come in all sorts of ways and I’ve found that setting challenges for myself in personal life including my 365 poetry challenge, fitness challenge, volunteer work and even learning to dance, has all helped my confidence and determination to keep going forward, one step at a time, in business.

And that all means of course that even if I’m stuck in the mud tomorrow there just can’t be time allowed even for a few seconds of wallowing self-pity.

I am an ultimate survivor after all…