Pause. Then plan.

When I am coaching young players one of the words I use most often with them is the word ‘relax.’

 

I do so because for many, once they find themselves in what they see as a real-life game scenario – even if it is only in training – panic often sets in when they get the ball.

 

The pace of the game, the fact that so much is going on in terms of movement around them, the possibility that somebody will come and tackle them, often means that many just want to kick the ball away from them as quickly as they can.

 

It’s dealt with then – it’s somebody else’s problem.

 

Sometimes in sport it there are last-ditch just kick it away scenarios, but when it is not one of those moments what I want for these youngsters is for them to relax and calmly deal with the situation they have in that moment.

 

I was in the car a lot over the past week and was thinking about this and how sometimes that sense of panic can set in for adults in their ‘real-life scenarios’ when things are happening at pace and it all gets a bit overwhelming.

 

To be honest, I was thinking of it because as my mind began to list through a huge list of things I need to get done over the coming weeks, I realised that without a proper plan, everything could easily come tumbling down around me.

 

Situations like that sometimes lead to the kicking the ball away reaction – just get things done to tick a box – but without giving those things any proper care and attention.

 

I have written on numerous occasions on this blog about why we should always try to pursue excellence, so for me it would be better not to do a task at all than do it really badly.

 

But if a task is on that big list of stuff in your head – how can you decide that you are not going to do it?

 

That’s where priorities comes in and why it is important to make sure you don’t try to keep that list of things only in your head.

 

I was reminded during the week of The Eisenhower Matrix on how to make decisions on what’s urgent and important.

 

That simple diagram explains that once you get your list together, you can sort them into categories.

 

So, rather than wasting time on things you like doing best or putting off things you might find challenging, you simply make a point of making sure that the urgent and important tasks are those you do first.

 

If it is important, but not urgent then you need to plan to do these. If it is not important but urgent, delegate these tasks and if a task is not urgent and not important – dump them from your list and don’t waste time and energy on them.

 

There are other tools you can use to help manage those tasks – things like Wunderlist for instance, but whatever you choose, it is important to learn how to prioritise so you get your important and urgent work over the line when it needs to be done.

 

So, if you do have a ball of work coming at you at pace – relax!

 

Take a deep breath and then plan.

 

It really is the best way to reach those goals!

 

(I was reminded of these two poems from my book Dance in the Rain on how the chaos can cause havoc when the to-do list is allowed to run unchecked and unplanned.)

 

 

Forgot to pause

I forgot to press pause

so I just kept on running

until I fell,

apart 
at the seams.

Then everything
 was chaos,

constant commotion

as seconds seeped out

to a blur of endless days.

With the curse of the wicked

I stuffed every minute,

into darkness and light

to make yet more time.

And I juggled and weaved

all those lists and to-dos,

fighting now

just to keep it all together.

 

Deadline

All at once comes a flood.

Hurtling

and cascading

down,

to overfill that

tiny bit of time

that is keeping

me afloat.

I scramble then

with a keyboard

for a bucket

and slosh away

what I can.

One eye always

on the clock.

Pounding on letters

repeatedly,

and trying

to keep my head,

above the water…

 

 

 

 

 

You can steer…

I had the opportunity during the week to embark on a completely new challenge.

 

It was interesting that one of the first tasks involved was a preparatory session on the mindfulness that might be required in the weeks and months ahead.

 

During the session, the trainer used the analogy of a boat setting out from shore on a journey and tried to reinforce and remind us that we can always try to bring back control.

 

Earlier that day as I trekked into the city on the train, I had been reading the wonderful poem by Mary Oliver called “The Uses of Sorrow.”

 

THE USES OF SORROW| Mary Oliver

(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)

Someone I loved once gave me

a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand

that this, too, was a gift.

 

 

In its entirety I love the depth of the poem and in the wider context, both the title and that opening line (often left out when people quote from it) are hugely important.

 

But, I can also see how people can latch on to the other four lines of the poem and place them in a different context.

 

How, for instance they can see situations where it can look as if the contents in a box might not be all that dark – yet people are so scared they can’t recognise opportunities as gifts that can truly enhance their life.

 

There can be little doubt that often when life throws up opportunities, it will quickly throw up an obstacle or two as well.

 

It is rare enough to get completely plain sailing.

 

Those are moments that we should enjoy.

 

But what if things are not quite as easy? What if there are some choppy waters to negotiate?

 

That’s when we must show some character.

 

Demonstrate the perseverance that we have within and show that even if we can expect some turbulent times along the way – that we are firmly fixed on reaching our destination.

 

When we do that, we give ourselves permission to be in control.

 

We understand that as part of our journey, things will come to try to blow us off course – and they can arrive in all kinds of guises.

 

From self doubt and disbelief right down to what might feel like more tangible problems – time, finance, travel, health – all sorts of different things.

 

But, in understanding that they will come, we already have prepared ourselves for the fact that they will need to be dealt with.

 

By keeping our eye firmly fixed on our final destination, we know that we may have to encounter rough water at times to get there.

 

In doing so we can develop the capacity for continually moving forward towards new opportunities, new horizons and a new sense of fulfillment.

 

If we ever want to reach our destination, we cannot sit hoping for the perfect time – because that will never come.

 

What we long for and yearn for, often requires sheer discipline and dedication.

 

It calls for spirit and resolve and draws on energy beyond what we think possible. More often than not, it will call upon undying commitment.

 

The essential ingredients for success depend upon one essential quality – perseverance.

 

And then, even if the dark does comes.

 

We will still see the advantage in eating up the miles at night.

 

 

Captain

 

Some days,

storms will come,

 

Try to bring chaos,

throw you off course.

 

But you are the captain

of your craft.

 

You are in control.

 

So, when those waves

of anxiety feel as if

they might turn your life

upside down.

 

Stop. Breathe.

 

And remind yourself.

 

That this is your journey.

 

So, you won’t let a storm

or even the fear of one,

send you into hiding

in your safe place.

 

Look out to the horizon.

 

Keep your mind firmly fixed

on your final destination.

 

You are the captain.

 

In control.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time to plough…

During the week I saw somebody share a wonderful old Irish saying that is a timely reminder to anyone with thoughts that since they’ve just got into a new year, that they are going to do something different – change something.

 

The saying:

 

“You will never plough a field by turning it over in your mind.”

 

Was a great reminder to me that, without action all the best ideas in the world come to nothing.

 

Think on something like a car for instance. It might look amazing, it might have the best engineering behind it, could be the fastest or most comfortable car etc etc – but here’s the thing.

 

Until somebody puts fuel in the car, starts the ignition and puts it in gear and drives it – the car just sits there. Does nothing.

 

I have written in this blog before about getting bogged down and overwhelmed with the thought of all the things we sometimes have to do – but the reality is that the only way to get past the obstacles is to tackle them one at a time.

 

If you hide away, think that pondering over all that stuff until you find a perfect way to get it done – then chances are when you peep your head above the parapet, they will still be there to be done.

 

We can spend all our time thinking and wishing – but in truth without action that is all pointless.

 

We can’t control the wind, but we can at least adjust the sails and if we are doing something then chances are the things that we are doing will lead to new opportunities.

 

In a conversation I had last week, I talked about how lovely it would be to win the lottery. Then, I remembered that I don’t even buy a ticket – so no matter how much I’d wish or pray or dream of that big win – without some action on my part how could it ever happen?

 

The start of the year is a time filled with resolutions that get broken within weeks – most often I think because people have the best of intentions, but never follow them up with action.

 

It would be a bit like reading this and then digging out a whole load of motivational quotes and articles – still like the stagnant car – of no value until you actually get yourself in gear and act.

 

American businessman George Shinn put it brilliantly when he said:

“Action is therapy. It erases doubts and fears, anxieties and worries. It capitalises on failures and mistakes and turns them into positive influences. It exercises the mind for problem solving and for creativity. It develops poise under pressure and uses wisdom and experience to consider alternatives and to provide a back-up plan. It calls forth the best in us all and it becomes the password to success.”

 

Instead of turning things over in your mind – it is much better to take up the plough and make a start.

 

It’s time to plough.

 

The poem was written in 2017 after a visit to the Silver Birch Gallery in Carndonagh when I saw a painting by Sharon McDaid of birds on a gate. I was back in the gallery recently and saw the painting, probably prompting the theme for this week’s blog post!

 

Best intentions

 

I have paused for now,

just to take a breath.

 

To untangle these thoughts

that sit perched, motionless,

on a gateway to my soul.

 

I sift through the web,

that comes with reflection

and see the light shine –

the blue skies ahead.

 

Soon I know,

it will be time for action.

 

Intentions will never

lift me to where I want to go.

 

I need resolve.

 

Firmness of purpose.

 

I need to fly.

 

If I am ever to soar

to new heights.

 

 

(Liam Porter 2017)

 

 

 

 

Be a hero

Perhaps it was because I kept hearing the song about Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer so often over the Christmas holidays, or perhaps it was something else entirely – but I was thinking a lot about teams and teamwork over the past few weeks.

 

As a coach, I am always trying to learn how to manage the different styles and personalities and abilities of different teams – but I also know that even though teams are made up of individuals, unless they all feel in some way like they are working towards a common goal, then chances are, things won’t go as well as they should.

 

The very best teams need everyone to feel like they have something positive and worthwhile to contribute.

 

There are countless examples of it in sports – at the World Cup or Olympics or in the County GAA Championship or Premier League or NFL or NBA – the sense that a team has bonded together, even if that bond is only in the singular pursuit of their end goal.

 

When he managed Donegal for instance in 2012, Jim McGuinness often spoke of ‘the journey’ his team was on – and made it abundantly clear many times that everyone in the group had bought in to what was needed for this journey.

 

They knew exactly what their aim was and what they had to do to get it  – and that singular pursuit gave the group of players – young and old, experienced and inexperienced – a common ideal that gelled them as a team.

 

But what if somebody did believe in the team’s objectives and worked hard towards reaching it, but somehow still found themselves feeling like they didn’t quite belong?

 

What if somebody on your team was like Rudolph, who certainly wasn’t part of the in-gang as far as the reindeer were concerned?

 

I was wondering if as a coach I would be able to spot and try to act if somebody who wanted to be part of a team, but no matter what, didn’t seem to quite fit.

 

But I also wondered what to do if I somehow found I was in that situation myself?

 

And you know what, I think I’d do what Rudolph did.

 

I’d keep in mind Mark Twain’s brilliant comment that ‘few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example,” and then I’d keep my head down, work hard on a constant pursuit of excellence and wait for my opportunity to come along.

Without reading too much into it (although obviously I am) Rudolph showed one of the greatest characteristics of all – perseverance.

 

He put up with the jibes and the exclusion, and most of all he didn’t run away or quit too soon.

In doing so not only did he get his opportunity, he did, as the song goes on to exclaim – ‘go down in history.’

 

Those who persevere, reap the rewards, because they learn how how to overcome obstacles, to pick themselves up, to remind themselves of their own self worth and they go again.

 

There are no easy victories, but those you really have to battle for, always seem that little bit sweeter.

 

It’s a good reminder for us all for the new year.

 

Persevere.

 

Be your own hero.

 

Be a Hero

Prepare well
then stride forward with confidence.
Knowing that all that could have been done – has been.

Be confident, not arrogant.
Believe without presumption or conceit.
And be ready to give your all in the heat of the battle.

Leave nothing behind
so that whatever the outcome,
you can always make peace with yourself.
Such is the road of a hero.
Be a hero.