The easy option

At the end of one of our games last week, I spoke briefly to our players about excuses – and why it’s a good thing to understand that when we make them, we’re really not being honest with ourselves.

 

Excuses are simple to make and they give us the easy way out, but a lot of times the easy way out is not the best way in the long run.

 

In sport it’s easy to blame the conditions – bad luck, the fact that players are missing or a referee made a bad call, that somebody else made a mistake – but they just mask any attempt to have a look at individual performance or team performance and see how improvements can be made.

 

Away from sport it’s also far too easy to find excuses – you’re too busy to get your work done, you’re too tired, it’s too late, too early, to hot, too cold, to wet – whatever the occasion there’s an excuse for it.

I’m always reminded of the the story of the farmer who asked his neighbour if he could borrow some rope.

 

“Sorry,” the neighbour replied, “I’m using it to tie up my milk.”

The farmer was stunned and said – “you can’t use a rope to tie up milk.”

“I know,” said the neighbour, “but when you don’t want to do something, one excuse is as good as another.”

 

As a coach, one of the things I’ve spotted that makes the real difference when it comes to somebody seeking to reach their potential, is their own desire and pursuit of excellence.

 

Over the years I began to understand that these traits are also common away from sport among some of the most talented and brilliant people I know.

 

They are people who don’t do excuses and if anything, are often too hard on themselves when they look at how they’ve done or what they think they might do better.

 

Indeed, it’s common enough for those people to suffer at times from imposter syndrome, believing themselves not to be as good as others.

 

And, just as it is for coaching youngsters in sport, that’s where the massive value of support and encouragement comes into play.

 

I am a firm believer in the idea that when we appreciate real and honest effort, the foundation is laid for people to excel and I am convinced that a lot of people have gone much further than they ever believed in life, because somebody else thought they could.

 

Sometimes that someone shows their belief by holding you accountable – not accepting your excuses – making you understand that you are better than you think you are.

 

They are people who give encouragement to the talents they see in others.

 

They compliment them and assure them and stimulate them to make the best possible use of their potential abilities.

 

If you are lucky, like I am, you’ll have some of those people in your life already – but even then, it sometimes takes new voices, a fresh perspective to peel away the uncertainty.

 

I found some more in a place beyond my usual circle – a place where over the past number of months I have had hundreds of excuses and doubts spring to mind  and I quashed them all.

 

I’m so glad I did, because just like excuses, comfort zones give us an easy option and that’s not always the best way.

 

It’s worth taking the step outside yours – you’ll be amazed at what you’ll find.

 

New Circle

 

Step outside that small circle

where you have curled up,

made yourself comfortable,

kept life confined, restricted growth.

Walk across the outer line

that runs in tangent

to your safe zone – hiding place.

There you’ll find inspiration.

Encouragement. Confidence.

Find your real self once more.

A new circle for life.

 

(Liam Porter 2019)

 

 

 

 

 

What is enough?

What is enough?

I’ve been trying to focus recently on the idea of ‘enough’ and what it means to me.

You see, through the studies I’m doing at the moment, I have found myself required to do a lot of reflection on what I have learned, but also where I hope that learning will take me.

And I continually come back to the idea of having enough.

Now, I know that is a concept that will mean something entirely different for everyone – for me, the focus was on figuring out really, what enough is.

Finding the time to reflect on that in the middle of what always seems to be a hectic schedule wasn’t easy, but over the past few days I was reminded of a couple of stories that have put some perspective on things.

The first is something I once read about how we all go through life juggling five balls.

Each of the balls represents parts of our life – family, health, self, friends and job, but four of the balls are made of glass – and only one, the one representing job, is made of rubber.

The idea behind the story was to help people understand how fragile self, family, friends and health are.

Dropping one of them can bring serious damage, or even leave them shattered.

But when you remember you can always bounce back to job, you will understand where to put the focus of the juggle to keep balance in your life.

That’s not to say you don’t juggle the rubber ball, but the story can help figure out what enough is.

And maybe enough is exactly what is mentioned in the lovely words of daily reflection that we have been using at the start of our learning day each week for the past few months?

“May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I have food, shelter and company. May I have peace.”

The other story I was reminded of was an American tourist who stopped to talk to a Mexican fisherman and ask him how long it had taken him to catch the fish he was carrying.

The fisherman replied, “not long” and when questioned by the tourist why he didn’t stay out longer and catch more fish, the fisherman replied “because what I have is enough for myself and my family.”

The tourist was gobsmacked, especially when the fisherman said he spent the rest of the day with his family, going to the beach, playing with his kids, having a siesta and then in the evening meeting friends for some drinks and songs.

He tried to explain that, by staying out longer the fisherman could catch more fish and make more money, soon he’d have enough for a second boat, then he could grow and have a whole fleet and down the line he’d have a big successful fishing business and have enough money to retire.

To which the fisherman replied – “And then what?”

“Ah, then,” said the tourist “you could just lie back and relax, go to the beach, spend time with your family and friends.”

And the fisherman just shrugged his shoulders and walked off.

He knew what his enough was.

How many of us can say the same?